The Domino Effect
by RumbleintheDumbles
Summary: Sequel to 'A Change Of Heart'. It is often said that a little thing can have a huge impact on later events. Neo certainly counted as 'little', though she certainly objected to being described as a 'thing'.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Yes, it's really here. The sequel some of you may or may not have been keeping a vague eye out for. This follows directly from the events of 'A Change of Heart'. If you have not read that fic first, there are literally no words that can describe how utterly baffled you will be. It's less than 10k words, so please, give it a read!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. It's all Rooster Teeth's.**

* * *

James Ironwood cut an imposing figure as he strode through his flagship, steps echoing down the corridors as his men snapped to attention wherever he passed.

He greeted them all with curt nods as he made his way to the prisoner hold – where his quarry was currently residing.

He found him in the same cell they'd kept him in the entire time. Somehow, the man had found a means to carve a rather spectacular game of noughts and crosses into the wall, that…

The General stared. "How… how the hell did you do that?"

"Hmm?" the prisoner looked up, "Oh, that. You'd be surprised what you can carve into with aura and a coat button."

"That's not what I meant," General Ironwood growled, "How did you manage to have a game of noughts and crosses where both sides won, _diagonally?_ That is not possible with nine tiles!"

"Anything's possible with a little imagination and a whole lot of style, Jimmy!" the prisoner leaned back in his seat, "So, what brings the General of this… remarkably… impressive military to the humble door of little old me?"

"I need to talk to you."

"The list of things you need is longer than this ship," the man replied, "A clue, a body made of less than seventy-percent metal, a sense of humour, a better decorator… seriously, what's with all the grey?"

"I tried making it all white at first, but nobody was able to see Specialist Schnee whenever she boarded," Ironwood admitted.

"Would be a shame to lose that view," his opposite agreed, "But enough about interior decorating. You came here to talk to me, and, as you would expect, Jimmy, I know _exactly_ what you want to talk to me about."

"Oh?" Ironwood frowned.

"That old moron Ozpin decided to play with fire and let her off her leash," the man smirked, "Now you've seen what happens when she's let loose, and it _scares_ you. You would like nothing better than for that leash to be firmly re-attached, wouldn't you? And so, you came to the one person who's ever held it. You need to know how to get her back under control, before she pulls everything out from under your feet. You need _me."_

He clasped his arms behind his head. "Am I right, General?"

Ironwood clenched his teeth. "As much as I hate to say it, you are. That girl is destabilizing everything I've worked for. I need her under control."

"But you can't fight her conventionally," the man commented, "Or the public would roast you alive and our hungry little friends outside the walls would get an awful lot hungrier. You need to fight fire with fire, don't you? You need to be able to play her at her own game. And there are only two people alive who can do that, one of them opened the door to her cage in the first place, the other one is sitting right in front of you. However… you want to know what _I_ need?"

He leaned forward. "I need to know what's in it for me."

"Freedom," Ironwood gritted out, "And the resources of the Atlas military to support your efforts."

"Tempting," the man drawled, "But I'm going to have to make an addition."

"An addition?" the General's eyes narrowed, "What do you want?"

"Well, Jim-Jams," Roman Torchwick leaned forward, eyes gleaming, "I'm going to need my hat back."

* * *

This was not, however, the only meeting that was being held several hundred meters above sea level that day.

"Are you all right?" Professor Ozpin, the instantly-identifiable headmaster of Beacon Academy asked in concern.

 **I FEEL LIKE SOMEONE JUST DANCED OVER MY GRAVE**

Came the scribbled reply.

 **WHICH IS ODD, AS I WAS FAIRLY SURE DEATH WAS ONLY FOR THE REST OF YOU MORTALS**

"Quite," Ozpin agreed, "Now then, back to the topic at hand. I'm sure you're curious about why I've asked for you to come."

 **NOPE**

Ozpin blinked. "Not even a little bit?"

 **NOT REALLY**

Neo admitted silently.

 **BUT I WAS WILLING TO AT LEAST GIVE YOU A CHANCE TO IMPRESS ME**

"You are very gracious," Ozpin chuckled, "Tell me… what do you know of fairy tales?"

 **I KNOW THAT THIS IS NOT A GOOD START ON THE WHOLE 'IMPRESSING ME' THING**

"Very well, I will skip to my point. Are you aware of the tale of the Four Maidens?" Ozpin asked directly.

Neo's eyes lit up.

 **OH YEAH, THAT ONE WAS ALWAYS MY FAVOURITE**

Ozpin smiled. _'So even she was once an innocent child.'_

 **FOUR GIRLS HARASS AN OLD MAN SO MUCH THAT HE LITERALLY GAVE THEM SUPERPOWERS TO GO AWAY**

Ozpin's smile twitched. _'Or perhaps not'._

 **I CAN ONLY DREAM OF ACHIEVING THAT LEVEL OF ANNOYINGNESS**

"That is… an interesting interpretation," Ozpin said after a moment. "What would you do if I told you the story was true?"

 **I'D GO OUT AND FIND AN OLD MAN**

Came the instant reply.

"I'm afraid that's not _quite_ how the power works," the headmaster shook his head, "You see, there truly are four maidens in this world, who share an inherited power, that does not require dust. Each Maiden corresponds to a different season, and the power is passed from Maiden to Maiden, always choosing a young girl to be it's wielder. What do you know of our recent escapees?"

 **I KNOW THAT YOUR PRISON SYSTEM WAS WOEFULLY UNPREPARED TO HANDLE A GIRL WHO COULD CREATE ILLUSIONS**

Ozpin blinked. "I was under the impression it was you who could make illusions?"

 **NO, WE RETCONNED THAT**

"Ah, say no more. Well, suffice to say, those three are at least a major part in a conspiracy that seeks to claim the Maiden's power for themselves. They have already attacked one of the Maidens and left them in a critical condition. I am part of an organisation that works in the shadows to protect the Maidens. Do you understand now, why I have asked you here?"

 **YES**

Neo nodded.

 **YOU SAID THAT THE MAIDENS ARE ALWAYS YOUNG AND FEMALE, RIGHT**

"Yes,"

 **AND THAT EACH MAIDEN CORRESPONDS TO A SEASON**

"That is correct,"

 **SO YOU CALLED ME HERE BECAUSE YOU WANT MY HELP**

"Indeed,"

 **TO PROTECT YANG XIAO LONG**

"Ye-what?"

 **THE MAIDEN OF SALT**

Neo finished, looking grave.

Ozpin raised an eyebrow. "I think... you _may_ be using the wrong definition of the word 'season'. But you did get the spirit of the request, at least. You have been surprisingly useful in overcoming this group so far – will you and your organisation assist us once again?"

Neo stroked her chin.

 **WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME**

"I can arrange for Miss Xiao Long and her entire extended family to be locked in a room with you for several hours."

 **DEAL**

 _'I would tell you I'm sorry, Qrow,'_ Ozpin internally mused, _'But then I recall all the times you have thrown up on my carpet, and find that I struggle to get the words out. A shame.'_

* * *

"So… the plan is still going ahead, right?" Mercury ventured.

"Yes," Cinder replied, "We need to make some changes, but the plan will still proceed. All we need for now is to get Emerald into the crowd so she can affect the matches."

"How will we do that?" Emerald asked.

"With a disguise, of course."

"...I thought Neo was the one who did the disguises," Mercury asked hesitantly.

"Do not mention that name to me!" Cinder snapped, "I am perfectly capable of handling the disguises. I have already arranged for a disguise for Emerald."

"You have?" Emerald queried.

"Indeed," Cinder said smugly, "Observe!" She pulled several items from her bag.

"It's… it's perfect," Emerald said in awe, "Nobody will ever suspect me."

Mercury stared. "It's a fake moustache."

"Hohohoho!" Cinder chuckled evilly, "That's where you are wrong, Mercury. It is not simply a fake moustache."

She then pulled out another set of three items.

"A sombrero and a pair of maracas," Mercury listed off, voice as robotic as his lower limbs.

"Indeed! Emerald, you are no longer Emerald, but... Esmeralda, Emerald's Foreign Cousin!"

"It's genius!" Emerald applauded sincerely.

"Now it makes so much sense," Mercury stated, _'Why Neo was the one in charge of disguises, that is.'_

"Now then," Cinder declared, "If that is settled... let us plan further! The maiden's power will be ours… and I will have my arch enemy's colourful head adorned upon my spiky heel!"

She began cackling madly.

 _'Well, that settles it. Neo actually broke something permanently in her,'_ Mercury thought in concern, _'Now, I have really, REALLY got to find a way out of this group.'_

With impressive effort, he managed to maintain a straight face as Emerald joined in with her master's loud cackling.

 _'I wonder if Neo is recruiting? She recruits annoying people, right? I can be annoying. I wonder if the Brown, White and Pink fang have better disability benefits than Cinder's Organisation That Has Stopped Being Secretly Evil And Is Now Openly Evil,'_ he paused his train of thought, _'You know... I probably should have realised something was up when she insisted on that name change.'_

* * *

And so, many people began to make plans. The beleaguered General, faced with a threat beyond his ability to manage, planned to make a deal with an existence he did not truly understand. The wily headmaster, pleased with the success of his pet project, planned to involve her further in the matters that determined the security of the world. The plotter, driven to raging madness, planned her revenge on all who wronged her. The one sane underling, seeing the depth of her madness, planned to leave, and seek refuge with his former enemies.

And the one at the midst of it all? The one around whom all of these events had circulated around? The heroine of our story?

She planned to do what she always did: Piss people off, and have a whale of a time doing it.


	2. Chapter 2

"So... I have to ask. Why am I here?"

Perry's question went unanswered by the three other occupants in the locker room.

"No, seriously, why am I here? Guys?"

 **WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS PERRY**

Neo tutted in disappointment as she wrote out her response.

 **WE'RE COMPETING IN THE VYTAL FESTIVAL TOURNAMENT BECAUSE IT WILL PROBABLY BE A HOOT**

"No, I got that part," Perry shook his head, "I mean, I really wish I _didn't_ get it, but I got it. What I don't understand is why _I'm_ here," he pointed at himself, "I am, like, the least combat-oriented person in the entire White - er, Brown, White and Pink fang," he corrected hastily, "Any half-baked student is going to tear me apart. Are you trying to get me killed?"

 **OF COURSE NOT**

Neo looked offended.

 **JUST A LITTLE BIT MAIMED**

Perry opened his mouth to argue, then drooped, defeated. "I hate my life."

 **THEN YOU SHOULD THINK OF IT AS A GOOD THING THAT YOU'RE SO CONFIDENT OF LOSING IT**

Neo responded cheerfully.

 **I AM AMAZING AT SOLVING PEOPLE'S PROBLEMS**

She looked inordinately pleased with herself.

 **TRULY I AM THE ULTIMATE PEOPLE PERSON**

Her smile then dropped to a confused frown.

 **THOUGH I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I HAVE THIS FOREBODING FEELING**

She thought about it some more, then shrugged.

 **AH WELL, LETS GO OUT AND DO BAD THINGS TO STUPID PEOPLE, TEAM**

With that, the three competitors plus one left the locker room with varying levels of enthusiasm.

* * *

 _Earlier that day:_

"Everyone. I'm sure you're wondering why I called you here."

General Ironwood had called his entire command staff together for a strategy meeting. The captains of the various vessels, the officers on the ground, and several faces from the Specialist division.

"The fact is, we're facing a new threat. A different kind of threat. One that logistics and ordinance can not necessarily overcome," the General began grimly, "That threat is the Brown, White and Pink Fang. With their generally non-violent approach to getting... well, basically whatever they want, there is little we can do to stop them without losing the war on public opinion, which, as we all know, we already have... difficulties, with."

The Captain of Blue One, a moustached, dark-skinned man, raised his hand. "Permission to speak freely, sir."

"Granted."

"Sir," the Captain began, "If they are not an actual threat to the safety of civilians any more, why do we need to stop them? Isn't Faunus equality a good thing, the methods they previously used to try and attain it aside?"

"Oh dear," a new voice pitched in, and all eyes turned to the man who had formerly been a prisoner aboard Blue Two, "Better get rid of that one quick, Jimmy. He's got common sense."

"Be quiet until I have explained your presence here," Ironwood snapped, before turning back to the captain, "As for your question, captain... while your point of view is understandable, I will point out the major strategic picture, here. How do the Brown, White and Pink Fang go about their campaign?"

"By annoying people and making them miserable," the captain replied promptly.

"Precisely - but more importantly, they are extremely efficient at it," Ironwood continued, "They can regularly make large numbers of people extremely frustrated, annoyed, and despondent. I'm sure I do not need to spell out to you all how dangerous this state of affairs is with regard to the Grimm."

The captain nodded in understanding. "I see. Forgive my impertinence, General."

"There is nothing to forgive, Captain," Ironwood shook his head, "It was a valid question. Now, the main question on all of your minds, is, no doubt, 'What will we do about it? Now, desperate times call for desperate measures... and we need a means to shut down this 'Neopolitan' in her own field of battle. With that in mind, I approached our former prisoner, Roman Torchwick."

"Let the General finish his speech before you start applauding," Roman deadpanned, "He worked on that for an entire five minutes."

"...As I was saying," Ironwood continued through gritted teeth, "Roman worked with Neopolitan very closely. He knows how she operates. He knows how to get under her skin. Most importantly, he knows how to shut her down for good."

"Which is why I'm currently standing out here, and not, you know, cooped up in that little cell," Roman interrupted, "Don't worry, though - Roman Torchwick knows how to stick to a bargain. Just make sure I get what I want and this will all be over before you know it," he grinned, sliding up to one of the specialists in particular, "Speaking of which... hello, beautiful! I can definitely see why they'd want to keep _you_ visible when you're aboard. Hell, if I'd known how good you looked in real life, I wouldn't have even demanded my hat back to join up. What do you say we go for dinner, hmm?"

Winter Schnee gave him a look. She then turned to the General. "General Ironwood, Sir."

"...Yes, Specialist Schnee?" Ironwood asked hesitantly.

"Permission to kill him, Sir."

Roman blinked.

"Permission denied," the General shook his head, "I apologise, Specialist, but as it stands, we need him."

"Yeah," Roman stroked his chin, "You need me. I could get used to hearing that."

"Sir," Winter raised her hand again.

"Yes, Specialist?"

"Permission to kill him just a little bit, sir."

"Permission denied, Specialist," Ironwood replied tiredly, "We may need him in one piece as well."

"Really, Specialist Schnee," Roman grinned, "Did nobody ever teach you that no means no?"

"General Ironwood, Sir."

"...Yes, Schnee?" Ironwood finally replied.

"Sir, what if," Winter began seriously, "I said 'pretty please'."

Ironwood stroked his chin in contemplation of the offer. "...That almost swung it, but the answer is still no, Schnee."

There was a moment of silence.

"Sir."

"Schnee."

"Damn it, Sir."

"I know, Schnee. I know."

"If you two are done having your pity party," Roman interrupted, "I'll tell you what I need. I need to be in a position where as many people as possible can enjoy the dulcet tones that emerge from my voice-box. Anyone got any ideas?"

Ironwood frowned, as he took in the three-dimensional image of Amity Colosseum that floated above the table. "I may have one, yes."

* * *

 _"And now, for the moment all of you, with your complete lack of better and more meaningful things to do, have been waiting for! Ladies and Gentlemen, we're here at the Vytal Festival tournament, and let me tell you, this fight? It's going to really, really suck."_

Ruby scratched her head as she listened from the stands. "Uh... guys? Why does the commentator sound like Roman Torchwick?"

"Because the commentator _is_ Roman Torchwick," Weiss frowned, "Why on earth would they let him out for something like this?"

"Well, there's a bit of a history of villains reforming themselves recently," Blake mused, "And for all his faults, he is an excellent public speaker."

 _"Of course, as you're already aware, I'm your amazing commentator, Roman Torchwick! Please, no flowers... seriously, I really, really hate flowers. And, of course, with me is my lovely co-host who simply can't admit that she's madly in love with me -"_

 _"Yes, well,"_ another voice said dryly, _"My mother taught me never to lie."_

"Who's th-" Ruby's question turned to a squeak as her partner jumped out of her seat.

"THAT'S MY SISTER!" Weiss squealed, jumping up and down and waving wildly as everyone who knew her stared in shock, "WINTER! DOWN HERE! WINTER! CAN YOU SEE ME? WINTER!"

 _"Oh my word,"_ Roman's voice sounded amused over the speakers, _"I can literally hear her from up here. That's gotta be embarrassing."_

There was a loud sigh. _"Yes, Weiss. I can see you. Now sit back down, please, before you make an even bigger fool of yourself in front of the entire world."_

"OKAY, WINTER!"

 _"As I was saying,"_ Roman continued, _"My co-host, and minder, whom I now completely sympathise with for leaving home and joining the military, Winter Schnee! Anyways, there's a match on. For those of you just tuning in who don't know the rules, I'm not going to explain them again, because why would I do that? Seriously, can you think of any reason why I would do that, Winter?"_

 _"I can't fathom the reasoning behind anything that you do, so I fail to see why this should be any different."_

 _"Exactly,"_ Roman agreed, _"Anyway, let's return to the match between Team MOOK, of Haven, and team... NPWA of the Brown, White and Pink Fang? What the hell kind of team name is NPWA? Only an idiot with a height complex could come up with a team name that didn't even fit the colour rule."_

* * *

 **THOSE BASTARDS**

Neo shook in silent fury as she scribbled on her whiteboard.

 **THEY ACTUALLY LET HIM OUT JUST TO SCREW WITH ME**

She stamped her foot for emphasis.

 **AND IT'S NOT LIKE I HAD MANY OPTIONS, HOW THE HELL DO YOU MAKE A COLOUR OUT OF THOSE LETTERS AND WHO EVEN CAME UP WITH THAT STUPID, BANAL RULE ANYWAY**

* * *

In his office, Ozpin inserted another coin into the box on his desk marked 'colour rule whiners' and gave a satisfied sip of his coffee.

* * *

"Are you done?!" cried a plain-looking boy opposite her.

 **SHUT UP CLIVE**

The whiteboard rebuked him.

He looked confused. "But my name isn't Clive."

Neo, on the other hand, was not in the mood for an argument.

 **IT F***ING IS NOW**

"You - you can't just rename people!" Clive protested, "It's bad enough you're not even from a proper school, but can you at least take this seriously?"

His rant was cut off by the loud noise of an over-sized boot connecting with the floor behind him. Gulping, he turned around.

"But we _are_ from a school. Haven't you heard?" The large, heavily-muscled, masked man leaned in menacingly, "We're from the School of Hard Knocks. A very prominent school that taught us all kinds of useful lessons."

He revved up his chainsaw. "And unfortunately for you, Clive... when it comes to education, we're of a mind to _share."_

Neo managed to calm down somewhat as the screaming brutality began. She then turned to Perry, who was standing beside her, looking equal parts lost and terrified.

 **YOU KNOW, TO THIS DAY I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY HIS PARENTS NAMED HIM WHITE FANG LIEUTENANT**

She shook her head.

 **I MEAN, TALK ABOUT MAKING YOUR KID'S LIFE DECISIONS FOR HIM**

Her expression then changed.

 **ON THE OTHER HAND, AT LEAST HE NOW HAS THE INFINITELY BETTER NAME OF BROWN, WHITE AND PINK FANG CAPTAIN**

She gave a content nod.

 **LET IT NEVER BE SAID THAT I DON'T OFFER OPPORTUNITIES FOR CAREER ADVANCEMENT**

"That's great and all," Perry asked nervously, looking around, "But where are the _other three_ team members?"

 **RELAX, PERRY, YOU SCAREDY CAT**

"Not a cat faunus."

 **RACISM IS FINE WHEN I DO IT**

Neo replied instantly.

 **ANYWAY, THE OTHER THREE ARE GIRLS**

Perry visibly relaxed. "Ah, okay. Adam's got this?"

The written agreement appeared on the board.

 **ADAM'S GOT THIS**

Meanwhile, over at the other side of the arena:

"But I'm a big believer in make love, not war, you know what I mean?" Adam said smoothly to the three girls as they sat around him, "Why would I want to fight a group of beautiful women like you? I can think of much better ways of spending the time. Like, say, I could buy you all dinner - being high up in the Brown, White and Pink fang comes with it's perks, you know... and then, maybe when that's done, we can go on a long walk on the beach... and I can play guitar," he finished, flicking his hair back with one hand.

The three girls fainted in romantic bliss.

 _"And that is officially the worst triple knock-out that has ever happened in the history of this tournament!"_ Roman's voice announced over the speakers. _"As expected from a sub-par team, of course."_

* * *

Meanwhile, in the stands:

"What. What. What. What. What. What. What..." Blake said blankly, rocking back and forth in her chair.

* * *

 **SO SUB PAR THAT I BASICALLY TOOK OVER THE WORLD, YOU HAS-BEEN**

Neo shook her whiteboard angrily at the commentary box.

 _"I'm sorry? What was that? I can't see what you wrote from all the way up here,"_ Roman replied, _"A phenomenon that you'd think I'd be used to by now when it comes to interacting with you."_

"Ooh," Perry noted, "Burn."

Neo glared at him.

 **SHUT UP PERRY I'VE GOT THIS**

She turned back to the commentary box.

 **I'M AMAZED THAT YOU CAN SEE ANYTHING AT ALL CONSIDERING YOU WEAR MORE EYE-LINER THAN I DO**

 _"What can I say? The higher the quality of your features, the more maintenance is required."_

 **OR THE WORSE YOUR FEATURES LOOK, THE MORE YOU NEED TO COVER THEM UP WITH CHEMICALS AND STUPID HATS**

 _"Stupid as it may be, my hat still managed to be the second most intelligent part of our dynamic, after me of course."_

 **WHAT DYNAMIC, ALL YOU DID WAS STAND AROUND WHILE I GOT EVERYTHING DONE**

 _"That's what having expendable minions is all about, my dear! The fact that you fail to recognise this speaks volumes about your leadership skills."_

* * *

Meanwhile, in the stands:

"I feel like I'm watching the world's most public breakup," Yang's head turned from side to side as insults were exchanged, "I never thought I'd be rooting for Torchwick."

"I don't know," Weiss hummed, "I think Neo has the right of it. Relationships should be about give and take."

"I'm not really sure we should root for either of them, considering they've both tried to kill us," Ruby said reasonably. Weiss and Yang stared at her. "What? It's true."

"What. What. What. What. What..."

* * *

 _"So, in the interest of having the last word, I'm going to say this match is over, a rather droll affair, but I'm sure that's what we'll all come to expect from this team in the next few rounds, if they even make it. I was your host, Roman Torchwick, and with me is my lovely Co-Host, Winter Schnee -"_

 _"I do not know what I contributed to this situation at all."_

 _"Ah, always the joker, now if you'd all please exit the stands as soon as possible, because I honestly can't stand the sight of you all. Adios."_

 **WHAT**

Neo stamped.

 **NO YOU DON'T**

She shook her whiteboard angrily.

 **YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE THE LAST WORD**

People began to filter out.

 **ANSWER ME YOU GINGER DRUG DEALER**

"Boss," Perry said hesitantly, "Maybe you should cut your losses with this one. It's getting a bit embarrassing."

Neo turned to him, eyes literally white with anger. She stared at him for a long moment, before angrily turning around and stomping out of the arena.

* * *

Neo simmered with fury as she stomped through the fairgrounds.

Thinking about her new predicament and how to counter it, she was unprepared to suddenly find herself accosted by Team RWBY, with the absolute last member she'd expect to be leading the charge.

"YOU!"

Neo blinked, anger fading away for mildly interested confusion.

 **I SEE YOU HAVE DISCOVERED THE MEANING OF LIFE**

She gave a polite clap.

 **WELL DONE BLAKE**

"What... how... what the hell happened to Adam?" Blake demanded.

Neo blinked.

 **YOU HAVE LOST ME, COMRADE**

She tilted her head in confusion.

 **WHAT ABOUT HIM**

"He's not... not..." Blake struggled to find the right words.

"Edgy?" Ruby suggested. Everyone looked at her. "What, we were all thinking it."

 **OH, THAT**

Neo nodded in understanding.

 **TURNS OUT THAT GETTING LAID SEVERAL HUNDRED TIMES WITH ALMOST EVERY WOMAN IN A LARGE PARANNOYANCE ORGANISATION CAN REALLY MELLOW A GUY OUT**

She shrugged.

 **WHO KNEW**

"What? You have got to be kidding me," Blake complained miserably.

 **I HAVEN'T GOT TO BE ANYTHING BUT FANTASTIC**

"I could have solved, like, ninety percent of the problems in my life if I'd just figured out how to be a better goddamn _wingman,"_ Blake wailed, ignoring the content of Neo's whiteboard, "I need to go home and re-think my life choices."

"You could have asked Nora," Ruby pointed out helpfully. Everyone stared at her again. "Well, she could," she said defensively, "Why do you all keep staring at me whenever I say things?"

There was a moment of silence.

"...Guys?"

The wind blew.

"...No, seriously, this is starting to weird me out."


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own RWBY. It belongs to Rooster Teeth.**

* * *

 _"Welcome, one and all, to the next round of the Vytal festival tournament! Where we will all sit around, watching and cheering on underage teens as they attempt to brutally beat each other into unconsciousness with lethal weaponry!"_

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence.

"...It's a fair point," Ruby admitted from her position down in the arena.

Every head in the arena turned to stare at her silently.

"Oh, come on," she complained, "This is getting ridiculous now."

 _"Anyway, now that I've succeeded in making the entire world question their own morality, let's move onto this match between Team ABRN and Team RWBY. Now, both of us commentators have a personal connection to the home side - my dazzling co-host is of course, as you all heard during the last match, the sister of Weiss Schnee -"_

"HI WINTER! THAT'S MY SISTER, GUYS!"

 _"Yeah, that's never getting old,"_ Roman paused, _"Anyway, Winter here is the older sister of Weiss, and I, of course, have tried to kill everyone on that team at least once! And yet, here we are. If that's not an example of turning enemies into friends, I don't know what is."_

 _"That statement assumes that anyone is actually your friend,"_ Winter remarked above the second uncomfortable silence to befall the stadium in the last five minutes.

 _"Believe it or not, I set the threshold pretty low when it comes to who I do and don't regard as a friend,"_ Roman admitted, " _Not trying to kill me at a given moment is normally my main qualifier. So wow, we're all friends here! I can practically feel the love. And speaking of attempted murder, the teams have a few minutes to make any last minute preparations for the match, so if you need to make any plans, now's the time!"_

"Okay," Ruby ignored the commentary, "I think the girls are the main threat, here."

"That seems kinda sexist," Blake frowned.

"Not really," Ruby shook her head, "It's just that of the two guys, one of them has been trying to twirl his spear around and has hit himself in the face ten times so far," there was a loud crunch and a cry of pain, "Eleven," she corrected, "And the other one started trying to tie his shoes before he came down to the arena and... well..." she pointed at the opposition awkwardly.

The rest of team RWBY followed the direction of her pointing finger, to see one of team ABRN's members, Nadir Shiko, rolling around on the floor, having somehow completely entangled himself in shoe-lace.

"His laces aren't even that long," Ruby shrugged helplessly.

"Okay, that's a fair point," Yang agreed, "So, the girls. What's the plan?"

"The blonde one looks like she knows her stuff," Ruby hummed thoughtfully, "I say we tag-team her three against one."

"What about the green-haired one?" Weiss asked.

"She's colourful and quirky," Ruby turned calculating eyes on the hoverboard-riding girl, before turning to Yang. "Yang, you go for her. Pretend she's Neo."

Yang eyed the girl in question, Reese, contemplatively. In response, the girl shot her a cheeky wink and stuck her tongue out.

"Yeah," Yang said with a calm she clearly didn't feel, "Yeah, I can do that. I can really, really do that."

* * *

 **SO**

Neo gave her newest potential recruit a searching look.

 **YOU WANT TO JOIN THE GLORIOUS REVOLUTION**

"Well, yeah," Mercury admitted, "I felt like my annoying career had hit a plateau with my former employers, you know? I mean, sure, there was the occasional opportunity to annoy people, but it always came with baggage. Steal this thing, kill this person, distract this human avatar of natural forces, there just wasn't enough focus on what I wanted from the job."

 **I SEE**

Neo frowned.

 **AND WHAT QUALITIES DO YOU FEEL YOU BRING TO THE BROWN, WHITE AND PINK FANG**

"Well," Mercury began, "I have a really quick repartee, and I'm pretty savage with my put-downs. I also like to put people into miserable situations then smirk and laugh as they cry."

 **A GOOD START**

Neo nodded approvingly.

 **PLEASE GO ON, MR BLACK**

"I can also make people feel really uncomfortable by loudly making remarks about my disability," Mercury raised a leg and lifted one of the trouser legs up to reveal the cybernetics underneath, "I understand that's a major part of your business strategy here at the Brown, White and Pink Fang."

 **INDEED**

Neo looked pleased.

 **WITH THAT SORT OF ATTITUDE YOU'LL CERTAINLY FIT IN WELL WITH THE REST OF THE SUBJECTS**

"So, I gotta ask," Mercury asked hesitantly, "What are your disability benefits like?"

 **I AM VERY UNDERSTANDING OF THE NEEDS OF MY DISABLED SUBJECTS**

Neo began.

 **ALL OF YOUR MAINTENANCE NEEDS FOR EQUIPMENT ARE PAID FOR BY THE GROUP, AS ARE ANY MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS YOU NEED TO SEE**

Mercury whistled. "Really? That's gotta be expensive. How do you pay for all that?"

 **WE GET A HUGE PAYOUT FROM ALL THE MAJOR TV NETWORKS TO NEVER EVER APPEAR ON THEIR CHANNELS**

Neo admitted.

"Nice," Mercury said admiringly.

 **WELL, I BELIEVE YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO SUCCEED IN THE BROWN, WHITE AND PINK FANG MR BLACK**

Neo put forward a form for him to sign.

 **AS IT HAPPENS, WE HAVE A POSITION OPEN RIGHT NOW**

She pointed to a dotted line.

 **SIGN HERE, AND YOU CAN START AS A FULLY-FLEDGED WIND UP MERCHANT**

Mercury's decision didn't take a moment. He grabbed the pen and signed. "Just tell me who to piss off!"

Neo smiled.

 **MR BLACK, I BELIEVE THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF A LONG AND EXTREMELY ANNOYING CAREER**

* * *

"You know, I kind of feel like that was anticlimactic," Blake mused as they walked through the fairgrounds, "I mean, we spent all that time preparing for the tournament, but the first fight was really, really easy."

"It didn't help that the fight kind of left the other three after Yang took out the hoverboard girl," Weiss then tilted her head in thought, "I wonder if she's landed yet?"

"I'm sure she'll be fine," Ruby reasoned, "She has a hoverboard, after all."

They all stared at her.

"Okay, that's it," Ruby snapped, "I really need to talk to someone about this or I'm gonna go mad." She shook her head, before turning and stomping off.

"What's up with her?" Yang wondered.

Blake shrugged. "I don't know. She's been saying strange things and complaining a lot recently."

"Eh," Yang tapped her chin, "I'm sure she'll be fine. By the way, how are your studies going, Blake?"

"Quite well," Blake said readily, "Nora has already taught me how to set up the perfect moment for your friend to get some romantic alone time with a hottie."

"Ooh, cool," Yang grinned, "Can you show me how? That sounds really useful to know."

"Well, I could, but if I did it now you'd probably end up screwing Weiss," Blake said seriously, "And I'm not sure if that's a ship I really want to sail."

"Huh," Yang said awkwardly as Weiss sputtered, blushing furiously, "Yeah, should probably leave it for another day, then. But, ship?"

"It's a Nora thing," Blake waved it off, "Ignore it."

"Okay," Yang shrugged, long since having gotten used to ignoring strange Nora-isms, "Whatever you say."


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own RWBY, it belongs to Rooster Teeth.**

* * *

 _"Welcome back to the Vytal Festival Tournament!"_ Roman announced, _"If you're wondering why I'm announcing this mid-match, it's aimed at you, the man in the east stand with the red 'Team Beacon' shirt and two large boxes of popcorn who is currently trying to squeeze past people to get to his seat,"_ he paused, _"Yes, you, fatty. Did you tell the server that one of those boxes was for someone else or did you not even TRY to pretend that you're anything other than a chunky ball of misery and unfulfilled dreams?"_

 _"If we could go back to the match,"_ Winter cut in tersely, _"You know, the thing we're all actually here for."_

 _"Right, right,"_ Roman agreed airily, _"The match. Between Team JNPR of Beacon and some kids who look like they put their weapons together by raiding their grandfather's tool shed."_

 _"Team BRNZ of Shade,"_ Winter clarified.

 _"Yeah, them,"_ Roman paused, _"Ooh, look. That kid just hit the crazy warhammer-swinging ginger brat with a cattle prod. At this point, I'm not going to loudly announce tactical information about the abilities of one of the fighters because why would I do that? I mean, I can't think of any reason why I would do that, can you think of a reason Winter?"_

 _"I'm afraid I can't,"_ his co-commentator admitted, _"It would be rather inappropriate timing. But I thought that would be the sort of annoying thing that you would take glee in doing?"_

 _"Ah, well that's where you're wrong,"_ Roman said chidingly, _"You see, if I did that, it would inevitably help at least one of the idiot munchkins down there. I hate them all, and want them all to fail in all of their endeavours equally, so I can't favour one side over the other!"_

 _"I suppose we should be thankful that our commentator is impartial, if nothing else,"_ Winter said dryly.

In the stands, Professors Port and Oobleck felt, irrationally and not for the first time since these matches started, like they were being insulted somehow.

* * *

"Yes," Cinder cackled as she observed a super-charged Nora Valkyrie smash her opponent through a boulder, "That one. That one could do an incredible amount of damage, given the correct incentive. Esmerelda," she turned to the green-haired, fake-moustached girl at her side, "Target that one! Hit her with everything you have!"

"Yes, Cindorita," 'Esmerelda' nodded, before narrowing her eyes at the girl in question.

* * *

Nora paused, as the boulder in front of her suddenly became a deathstalker with three tails. She then found herself rubbing her eyes when Jaune grew wings and started breathing fire. When Pyrrha's weapon and shield transformed into mouldy cheese-steak sandwiches (a most frightening weapon for sure), she finally began to consider that something unusual was going on, and turned to her partner.

"Ren," she called, "Did I take my medicine again?"

"You haven't in the last six years since it was first prescribed, Nora," Ren said irritably as he ducked under a round from team BRNZ's sniper, "Why would you start now?"

"Well, it's just, I'm seeing things that seem a lot more sensible than the things I normally see," she paused as a giant stinger smashed into her position, accomplishing absolutely nothing, "Like intangible Deathstalkers that used to be big rocks. Why does it only have three tails? And if it's made out of rock, why doesn't it have an electric guitar? Did you know your head is a chocolate egg? You should probably get that looked at, it's not even wrapped and I doubt it even has little candy bars inside if you crack it open-"

* * *

"Well?" 'Cindorota' hissed,"Why haven't you done it yet?"

"I have," 'Esmerelda whispered back, "I'm hitting her with an insane amount of the weirdest shit a human could possibly imagine! All it seems to be doing is _calming her down!"_

"Well... try harder!"

"I'm trying harder! She - oh god, what is she doing? She's somehow making the illusion _less realistic!"_ 'Esmerelda' started panicking, rocking back and forth in her seat, "Help. Cinder, help. She's... taking over my illusion, by imagining even crazier - what the hell is that - I can't even - argghlbrgggl," the disguised thief slumped into her chair as she started foaming at the mouth, eyes blank.

Cinder stared at her most useful underling in shock. Shock soon turned to anger as she began to shake her fist at the heavens. "Somehow, I know that this is Neo's fault. Curse that mute little demon. Curse her to hell."

* * *

Neo blinked, pausing halfway through her strategy meeting with the Brown, White and Pink fang. The meeting was meant to introduce their newest member, NotMercury NotBlack, and also discuss how to deal with the grave threat posed by Roman Torchwick.

"Boss? What's up?" NotMercury queried.

 **I JUST HAD THE STRANGEST FEELING**

She admitted.

 **LIKE SOMEONE WAS GIVING ME CREDIT FOR SOMETHING I HAD ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH BUT TOTALLY WOULD ACCEPT CREDIT FOR ANYWAY**

She gave herself a pat on the back.

 **WELL DONE ME**

She turned back to the board.

 **NOW, BACK TO SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO MAKE GENITALIA JOKES ABOUT HIS CANE**

"How about pointing out that it's not supposed to droop at the tip?" Adam suggested.

Neo looked pleased as she scribbled down the line.

 **THAT'S GOOD, I LIKE THE DIRECTION YOU'RE GOING WITH THAT, LETS WRITE THAT ONE DOWN**

She turned back to the crowd.

 **NOW, ANY OTHER SUGGESTIONS ALONG THE LINES OF HIS INABILITY TO PERFORM**

* * *

"-And all I'm doing is pointing out all of these really obvious things, but whenever I do, everyone just gets really quiet and stares at me," Ruby said miserably, "I don't know what's going on! Is there something wrong with me, Professor?"

Glynda sighed at her panicked student. "Ruby, there is nothing wrong," she said gently, "I was hoping to put this explanation off a little while longer. I wasn't sure you were ready, but I can see that recent events have forced my hand."

"Explanation? You know what's happening?" Ruby sniffled hopefully.

"Yes," Glynda began, "You see, you are special, Ruby. The madness of recent weeks has awakened something within you... there are few others that have the gift you possess. I am one, and your Mother was one as well."

Ruby perked up. "Mom did?"

"Yes, she did - and she suffered from many of the same problems you are experiencing now, as did I. Now, it all begins with a legend," Glynda continued, "The legend tells the tale of a group of people gifted with a power far beyond the reckoning of most mortal men and women. According to the tales, these people could observe a situation, no matter how silly, and respond to it with reasonable assumptions, pointing out obvious flaws and problems and making useful suggestions that would solve them. Their power was so great, that whenever they used it, those less-gifted souls around them were regularly stunned into silence by the sheer sensibility of their insights."

Ruby nodded along eagerly, recognising the symptoms.

"The ancients called this ability," Glynda paused gravely, "Common Sense."

Ruby stopped nodding. "Why?"

"Why what?" Glynda asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Why call it Common Sense?" Ruby complained, "If it was that rare, shouldn't it have been called Rare Sense?"

Glynda chuckled. "Yes, I asked the same thing, as did Summer when she first heard the tale. The short answer is, the ability was not named by people who had it."

"Oh," Ruby looked thoughtful, "Okay. That makes sense. Normal sense, that is."

"Now, with great power comes great responsibility," Glynda said seriously, "But I believe you have, thus far, shown sufficient strength of character for me to trust that you will use it well - to guide your comrades and assist them, rather than use your power to manipulate them into doing the things you want."

"I won't let you down, Professor," Ruby vowed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own RWBY, it all belongs to Rooster Teeth.**

* * *

"Hey! Yeah, I'm talkin' to you, Ice Queen!"

People began gathering around to watch as what was clearly a huntsman by his attire and the weapon at his waist faced down his mortal enemy.

"What? What's the matter, huh?" he taunted, "Not going to say anythin' back?"

He became more visibly agitated at the further lack of response.

"Oh, is that how it is then, eh? Too good to talk to me? Eh? Just like your boss is too good for Ozpin? Well lemme tell ya somethin', you prissy good-for-nothing..."

As his drunken rant kicked into overdrive, two of the more notable spectators were watching on in bemusement.

"Winter?" Weiss asked tentatively.

"Yes, Weiss?"

"Why is that man accusing a lamp-post of supporting an Atlesian takeover of Vale?"

"Well, Weiss," her older sister replied primly, "I couldn't say for certain, but I imagine it's because he's extraordinarily drunk."

"Oh," Weiss nodded, "Yes, that makes sense."

"That's it," the man slurred, before unsheathing his sword, "Take some of this!"

He swung the blade sloppily, missing his mark entirely and stumbling to the ground, before glaring back up at the light source. "Oh... I see. You've gotten better at dodging! But..." he staggered to his feet, leaning on his sword, "You'll have to do better than that to beat me!"

"Winter?" Weiss asked again, curiosity getting the better of her.

"Yes, Weiss?"

"Why are you recording it?"

"So I can mock him _relentlessly_ about it when he's extraordinarily hungover," Winter replied, sporting a grin that would have made a shark jealous as she adjusted the focus on her scroll.

"You _know_ him?"

"His name is Qrow Branwen. A Huntsman. Also a teacher, somehow," Winter shook her head in undisguised disapproval, "The best way to describe him would be 'a source of constant irritation for everyone around him', so this is too good an opportunity to pass up. Now, watch this."

Winter held a hand to her mouth, before throwing her voice, making it sound as though it was coming from the lamp-post Qrow was currently struggling with.

"Is that all you have, Qrow? Perhaps I should go and spar with one of your nieces, instead, if I want a real challenge."

"Ha!" Qrow declared, "So you're finally talkin' back, huh? Well I'll show you a challenge!" he roared in drunken anger before charging the lamp-post head-on - literally, his forehead colliding with the metal surface as he stumbled to the ground, clutching the part of his body that, had he been significantly less inebriated, would have held a working brain.

Weiss watched this exchange in awed wonder. "You're _amazing_ , Winter!"

"Thank you, Weiss."

"Hey, Weiss," Weiss and Winter both turned around as the former's partner and team leader walked up from behind them, "Why's everyone crowding around like this? Hey, wait," Ruby perked up, "That's..." Ruby trailed off with a heavy, long-suffering sigh as she saw what was transpiring. "...My uncle. Not again."

"You're _related_ to that drunkard?" Weiss demanded.

Ruby began to answer, then looked back at Qrow, who was currently failing badly at standing back up, then back to Weiss. "Not by blood?"

"Given that his blood consists of at least eighty-percent alcoholic content, that's probably for the best," Winter snarked, "I hesitate to think of the poor souls who are."

"Well, I mean," Ruby bit her lip uncomfortably, "Nobody ever blamed Yang's anger issues on Yang."

Qrow had, at this point, dropped his sword, but still seemed to be of the belief that he was holding it, and was currently slicing clumsily through the air with an imaginary weapon.

"I guess I'd better take care of this," Ruby stepped forward with an air of long-suffering resignation, "I'll see you later, Weiss... Hello, Uncle Qrow, yeah, it's me, Ruby, now come on, let's get you to bed before you lose your wage to property damage again..."

* * *

"So now you see," Ozpin said gravely, "We thought we only had the maiden's power to deal with, but now miss Rose has awakened one of the ancient and deadly powers she has inherited from her mother."

 **YES, THIS IS PROBLEMATIC, I WILL TELL MY MINIONS TO BE CAREFUL AROUND HER**

Neo nodded.

 **A POWER AS TERRIBLE AS COMMON SENSE COULD CAUSE THE DOWNFALL OF MY BROWN, WHITE AND PINK FANG**

She frowned as she flipped her whiteboard around with absent-minded ease.

 **AFTER ALL, OUR ANNOYING TACTICS OFTEN RELY ON OUR OPPONENT BEING REALLY F***ING STUPID**

She paused as she registered the last part of Ozpin's statement.

 **WAIT, YOU SAID 'ONE OF'**

"Yes, she does," Ozpin replied, pausing to take a sip from his cup, "You see, Ruby also happens to have a very rare and ancient trait - her silver eyes. Those born with silver eyes are deadly to the creatures of Grimm, able to kill them with merely a glare and save entire villages of townsfolk. As you can see, this makes her tremendously important to our endless battle for survival against those single-minded beings," he paused, then clarified, "The Grimm, not the townsfolk."

Neo shook her head in wonder.

 **WOW, WAIT TILL I TELL YANG THAT HER SISTER INHERITED NOT ONE BUT TWO ANCIENT AND WONDROUS POWERS**

She sniggered silently as she scribbled on her board.

 **WHEN SHE DIDN'T EVEN INHERIT A BRAIN CELL**

She grinned in anticipation.

 **THAT'S THE START OF AN INFERIORITY COMPLEX RIGHT THERE**

She then paused.

 **SO, WAIT, YOU SAID THAT PEOPLE WITH SILVER EYES HAVE THE MAGIC GRIMM-KILLING SUPER GLARE, RIGHT**

"Yes, I did."

 **HMM, I WONDER**

Neo looked thoughtful as she wrote down another message.

 **MIGHT WANNA PUT SOME SHADES ON, GONNA TRY SOMETHING**

Ozpin was barely able to raise an eyebrow and open his mouth to ask what she meant, before he was forced to shut both eyes as a bright, powerful light exploded in his office like a beacon of silvery-white. Just as soon as it appeared, it promptly vanished.

 **HUH**

Neo nodded as she changed the colour of her eyes from silver back to her usual pink and brown.

 **NEAT-O**

Ozpin blinked, both in surprise and because of his newly-developed cataracts. "Well, that was interesting," he said calmly after a moment, "You know, I've known several people with the ability to change their appearance and I've never once thought of asking any of them to try that." He took a sip of his coffee again. "I suppose you learn something new every day. So... how do you feel about killing giant dragons?"

 **I FEEL THAT IT'S A JOB FOR SOME OTHER SCHMUCK WHO ISN'T ME**

Came a reply as instant as it was possible to make through the written word.

"I thought so," Ozpin agreed, "Well, on that note, I have some entirely un-nefarious plans to make and I'm sure you do as well, so should we say... same time next tuesday?"

 **SURE, SEE YOU THEN YOU ELDRITCH ABOMINATION**

"I'll look forward to it," the headmaster agreed, finally draining his cup dry as his guest left the office, no doubt to cause more havoc and irritate more people.

Come to think of it, he'd had an interesting report about a suspicious duo in the crowd at the tournament irritating other attendees with overly melodramatic antics. Perhaps he should look into it...

Nah. As Neopolitan had rightly put it, that was most certainly a job for some other schmuck who wasn't him. He'd make it Ironwood's problem.

After all, it would serve the man right for making those noisy airships hover so close to Ozpin's office that they kept him awake all night last night.


End file.
